its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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