seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
