Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
