You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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