I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
