Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
