apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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