a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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