she looked like the before picture.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
