Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
