Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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