And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize