You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we should paint friendship bongs
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize