we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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