If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
