I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
