Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just googled if crying burns calories
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
