I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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