if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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