i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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