So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
