never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
