you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
