who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
