next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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