Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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