separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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