just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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