Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
