I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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