1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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