I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I want a musical about memes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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