is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Farmville is her only friend.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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