He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
