theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're a waste of cheezeits
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize