two words: eviction party
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
