Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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