a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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