Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
