Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
