are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
