it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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