Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
3pm strippers are depressing
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
