Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize