I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
