Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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