I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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