To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
