**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
