What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
