so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
