did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Found the puke drawer
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
