Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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