just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
