You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
