Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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