So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
