I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
