So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize