I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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